Your relationship with other people is often an important factor in a sleep problem. Relationships can cause stress and they can affect what you believe to be true about yourself.
66) Do you sleep with a bed partner?
If you have a bed partner does that person's sleeping habits create a problem for you to sleep? Often a bed partner is bothered by snoring or restlessness. Sometimes the person who can't sleep isn't the one with a sleep problem. We've found that people who have Sleep Disorders often aren't aware they aren't sleeping well - but their partners are. In the case of Sleep Apnea, the partner will often lie awake worrying because of the breathing patterns and the snoring.
There are many ways that a partner can be difficult to sleep with. It is a valuable thing to discuss this with your partner and brainstorm solutions so you can BOTH sleep well. Sometimes, though, a partner will be offended if, say, you want to sleep on your own in order to get rest. Sometimes a partner is so insecure and the idea of sleeping alone is too threatening. If that is the case, counseling is strongly recommended. There are wonderful and creative ways that couples have found to get the sleep they need.
190) Do you believe that because your bed partner can fall asleep right away you should, too?
Sometimes it's very frustrating to watch your partner fall asleep in a few minutes while you lie awake. A person can develop an idea that there is a correct way to fall asleep and it's not possible for him or herself. This is, as you can imagine, a self-defeating kind of thought and it is very easy to start thinking it.
Each person has his or her own pattern of falling asleep, some like background noise, some like to read, some listen to quiet music, and some hug teddy bears. There are many many different ways. Learn to like your own way.
43) Do you have children under 5? If so, what are their ages?
Small children have their own sleep schedules and they often conflict with their parents'. Parents of young children are frequently sleep deprived and so their level of patience for things is short. To get rest, parents of small children find other people to help them out in one way or another. Even if you don't have an extended family around, you can still find other parents of young children and trade caretaking times. Sometimes, getting a sitter to take a nap is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Sometimes parents are tyrannized by the sleep patterns of their young children. They can be afraid of doing some kind of psychological damage by enforcing firm bed-time rules, or they may not be able to stick to a constant routine and the kids get confused. If you think your kids are controlling the sleep situation and you don't like their rules, please see a counselor for some ideas on how to get your kids to sleep. You can try reading books on the topic, there are many out. Resources for you: Sleep Bibliography and Selecting a Counselor.
94) Do you often worry about things you've said that might have hurt somebody's feelings?
201) Are any relationships with your family, friends, or co-workers unsatisfactory, or is there much stress in some important relationship?
Again, if you are worrying about a relationship, that will impair your ability to sleep. Sometimes, of course, your insomnia and the results of it may cause troubles in relationships. It's very helpful to sort out which is the primary problem, or to start making changes in your relationships to they feel better. A counselor is a useful ally in this work.
118) Are you being touched (physically) at this time in your life to your satisfaction? Please comment.
Every person has different needs for touch. Sometimes, though, it is difficult to admit even to oneself, that one needs more or less touch than what is happening. Ideas for getting more touch can include hugs from friends, massages from friends or massage therapists.
46) Are you concerned or irritated by your sex life?
Your sexual relationship is an important factor in your social connections. If it isn't going well, or even if it is, your feelings and activites within that relationship can impact your sleep.
Click here for ideas on other aspects of sexual problems and sleep problems
62) Is your sleep better or worse on the weekends?
If your sleep is changing on the weekends - think about who you are with. Then think about whether the sleep is better or worse on the weekends. You can get the idea...
135) Do you work a rotating shift at work?
A rotating shift plays havoc on a sleep schedule. It also can impact your social life. It is hard to get involved in things when your schedule is constantly changing. Occupations that particularly have difficulty with this are police, firefighters, and many factory/manufacturing workers. It is usually impossible to get the organization to change its policy, even though it may be healthier for employees. There are ways to structure a rotating shift, however, that does the least damage to the people.
136) Do you work a night shift?
If you do, do you like it? That is the most important question. There are many people who love working a night shift. It works well for them for any number of reasons. However, if you are someone who has to work a night shift and you don't like it, it can be very difficult to adjust. Research shows that working rotating and night shifts is not healthy. There are health conditions that develop as a result of the lack of natural daily sleep patterns with the cycles of dark and light. Shift workers have to work extra hard to maintain their health.
158) Do you get angry because of things outside your control?
Anger in this kind of situation is a clue to stress level and anxiety. This is an indication that some counseling would be very useful. It is also an indication of lack of sleep and the level of distress as a result. As to which is the cause, the insomnia or the sress/anxiety it is hard to say.
159) Can you control the way you spend your time?
The imporant social aspect of this question is, if you can't control how you spend your time, then who does and how much control can you get? The stress that comes as a result of feeling out of control can add to a sleeping problem.
166) Are you under a great deal of stress at home or at work?
Your relationships with people at home or work can cause insomnia if you are concerned about them.
199) Do you often work more than ten hours a day or more than six days a week?
In some ways, work stress is an odd condition to have in a developed country. However, there is more and more of it as companies increase performance expectations from the staff and people's appetites for more money fuel that expectation. There is, even so, a reasonable amount of work that a person should do, and if you marked #4, then it is high time to take some time and re-evaluate your life.
200) Do you take less than two weeks of vacation a year?
Vacation is a necessary time out to recharge your system. Don't underrate it.
This site is created by and belongs to: Iris Publishing
email: Webmaster@Iris-Publishing.com
Regular Mail: P.O. Box 1092, Coupeville, WA 98239
Phone: (360) 678-6409
Copyright 1996-1998 Sarah Richards
